Hello everyone~
So sorry for the delay posting. Been a little bit busy with this year since August.
This year, especially the ending had thought me a lot about life lessons. I have to admit, this year was HARD. Despite Covid, school was tough. But, I made it through the year!
In August, I had my first sports day since entering high school and it was SO chaotic. I had the best time of my life. I joined the "perbarisan" for my sports team which is Mars (red). Then, I got chosen to represent my team in 1500m—not gonna lie, it was hard—and I also joined the high jump and disc throwing. And sadly, I didn't win in any of those sports events 😭😭. But it's okay because my team got 2ND PLACE OVERALL !!! We were so happy. It might not be 1st place but we did our best.
Though I had to admit, I was really sad about not winning those sports events. I was sad because I didn't get the extra points for my team. I almost gave up. But, everyone kept reminding me that it was okay and that I can try again next year. And maybe they're right. Maybe I can try again next year, who knows? I've learned that I can't blame myself for this 'cause it's not my fault and I have tried my best but it's just not the time for me to win yet.In September, I had my mid-term assessment. It was hard, especially in math. Math will always be my weakness in school tests. We only had around an hour or two for the math paper. Out of all the sections in the paper, section C ― the troubleshooting section ― was the hardest section for me. It's where they give you long sentences and you have to solve the questions and it needs to have the "jalan kerja". I left out a lot of section C questions which made my results bad. I cried so badly when I found out. That feeling when you have worked so hard for something and it didn't work out the way you thought it will. Since I need a lot of help in math, Mommy send me to math tuition so that I can learn the tricks and shortcuts. Trust me, it's not easy. But, you just have to try. And I did. Now, I know some shortcuts for the section C questions and I am hoping I can do better for my end-term assessment next year. I guess I learned that I can't give up quickly. I need to try again or search for other ways to keep on moving.
November was THE HARDEST month of this year. Since it was almost the end of the year, we had tons of projects and research that we had to do. We had a science scrapbook project, history and geography case studies, an English presentation and more. It was hectic. For my class, I am the class monitor's assistant and having that title, I always help my classmates with school work. Sometimes I go a bit too far overdo the helping until I forgot to have some time for myself. For example, this year we had to do a case study about transportation problems in our neighbourhood for geography. While doing mine, I helped my friends with their case studies too. But, I kinda helped a little too much until there was one night I sleep only for some hours. I sometimes forgot to drink a lot of water and these days it will be really hot. Then I had minor dizziness and I felt like I had to throw up and I also feel like fainting. I immediately drank a lot of water when I realised. This wasn't the 1st time. It happened a while back during my sports practice. It was the same reaction, the same dizziness, the same feeling.
After that incident, I feel extra tired the weeks after. I had to finish my work extra early because I had to rest a lot and I still had other work that needed to be done. Alhamdulillah, after all the hard work, I got a full 100% for the geography case study. For me, it was worth it because I put in a lot of work and energy. Along the way, a lot of bad things happened. Everything was all over the place. I had no motivation to continue, I had no one to turn to. I felt tired. But I realised, I have to focus on myself first before focusing on others. I realised that to get what I want, I have to stay healthy and have a stable mindset. Working harder may turn out great but I still have to work smart. I learned that I can't put too much pressure on myself, and I can't get negative thoughts and negative words in my head. And that's what I did. I shut out all the negativity around me and focus on myself and stay positive. Other than that, I prayed a lot to Allah to help me and to get my feelings and thoughts out. It turned out great. I turned out stronger.
Now, it's already December and 2023 is coming. Time flies so fast these days. For 2023, I am hoping that it will be better than this year. I'm hoping that I get to be stronger than this year. After everything I went through, I know how to be better. I have to start focusing on myself, I have to not put pressure on myself, take care of myself and just enjoy life and go with the flow. It's time for me to have some time for myself. I may not be okay all the time, but I trust that this is all Allah's plan for me. I need to have patience. I need to always pray to Allah and trust in Allah. He is the best planner. We have around 2 more weeks till 2023 so let's hope and pray that these 2 weeks will be a nice ending for 2022.
Talk to you later ! 💐✨️
