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Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Tok Mae... In Loving Memory

Amongst all Tok Abah's siblings, I think the person I'm familiar with the most is Tok Mae.
In fact, she was the closest aunt in-law to Dadda too.

Tok Mae is Tok Abah's younger sister. The one right after him. She's the kind of person who's really warm and caring and you just feel comfortable whenever you're around her. Naturally, her house was our favourite hang out place. Any chance we got, any reasons at all, whenever we're around KL, we'd think of her place. Whether to stop by and kill time or just dropping by to 'tumpang solat' (pray).

On top of that, her husband, Tok G is cool too! He didn't seem to mind us dropping by at any time of the day. Mommy would make it a point to at least bring some snacks whenever we stopped by and only call to say we're dropping by when we're about to reach her place. There's a reason for all that.

You see, Tok Mae was a person who LOVED entertaining people, especially her family members. If we tell her way beforehand that we're coming, she would be preparing food and snacks for us. So, Mommy will almost always call her at the very last minute to inform her we're coming so she doesn't tire herself preparing for our short visits.

Tok Mae had a particular habit where she was always wiping and cleaning. Her tables and floors were always clean. Tok Abah had joked once and said she had OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). Mommy says I took that habit from her. I do wipe almost everything especially spilled drinks even when we're eating in restaurants. One more thing that was her all-time favourite was the Karaoke. I think her two kids, Umi Putri and Ami Putra enjoyed it too. Mommy and Pak Su used to join them till late at night.

You were always never allowed to do anything or help her in the kitchen when you're at her house. She'd make a fuss even if you just want to take your mug to the sink! She'd make us sit and talk and tell stories and just relax and watch TV while she goes back and forth from the living room to the kitchen doing God-knows-what. That's how she makes you feel welcomed and show that she's so happy to have you come visit all the time

That's why no matter how much you spend time visiting her, no matter how much we talked or told her our stories, no matter how much we laughed, joked and sing with her, it's just never enough and you're never satisfied. That's why you always look forward to spending time with her. That's why you love getting her long, carefully composed SMSes. That's why you feel you've never had enough of her and that's why you're always so reluctant to leave her when it's already late and time to go home. That's why.

I remember Mommy used to tell me that I should talk to Tok Mae and make her happy. She and Tok G were always delighted to see me everytime. Mommy also told me one day that Tok Mae was not well. So, once when we were at her place, I told her "Tok Mae, be 'tong'" (Tok Mae, be strong) just before we were about to leave. And not long after that, Mommy told me that Tok Mae is not sick anymore but it would be the last time I'd be seeing her. I didn't really understand.

That past couple of weeks, Tok Mama had been away, working. The morning she arrived back home, Tok Abah drove her straight to see Tok Mae. I tagged along. Mommy and Dadda followed a bit later in another car.
We were preparing for Umi Putri's wedding that afternoon so I thought that's why we were in such a hurry.
Little did I know that it was the last time I'd ever saw Tok Mae...


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated AbuUmamah May Allah be pleased with him [Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
The Prophet May Allah's peace and praise be on him stated that Allah, who is Blessed and Exalted, said "Son of Adam, if you show endurance and seek your reward from me in the first affliction, I shall be pleased with no lesser reward than Paradise for you."
http://muttaqun.com/sickness.html


After perhaps more than 5 years, Tok Mae lost in her battle against Cancer. She left us on Friday, 11th of March at around 7.15pm, around Maghrib, about an hour before her daughter, Umi Putri's solemnisation ceremony.
I finally realised that Tok Mama was actually rushing to see Tok Mae for the last time before they buried her the morning Tok Mama arrived back home. That's when all of us including me saw her for the very last time too.

Nonetheless, that very afternoon, Umi Putri's wedding went on as planned. It was Tok Mae's wish that the wedding would go on just like any other normal wedding. It was afterall a celebration of lives - Tok Mae's and Umi Putri's new life with Uncle Irsyad.

Mommy told me on the very same day that Tok Mae is no longer in pain and she is now in a beautiful place with Allah. She said that although we all really loved her so dearly, Allah loves her more.
He has 'lent' Tok Mae to us for years and He has every right to have her back.

I'm grateful that I had the chance to know Tok Mae and that I have memories of her with me.
She'll always be in my and everyone else's hearts. Perhaps someday I'll understand better and I'll be able to tell my future siblings about a woman I once called Tok Mae.

May her soul rest in peace amongst the blessed and chosen ones.

Al-Fatihah.


These are just some memories that we have of her in our albums.
As you can see, Tok Mae was quite camera-shy..



2 comments:

Fazz Aziz said...

Nadyne...sometimes when Allah takes away someone special from us, He replaces it with another. When Allah took Tok Mae back, He gave you the new baby in ur Mommy's tummy.

..Nia.. said...

Betul Kak Long. When I was pregnant with Nadyne, my grandma (Abah's mom) passed away. She didn't get to see Nadyne and now Umi Mae won't get to see the baby. Sob.. sob...

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